Luv L3tterz

You know how Spotify has a "Top Lists" app and you can see the top however many trending songs in America (or other countries like Sweden ((which when you listen to that top list, it's what I assume it feels like to be on acid)))? Well here are a bunch of lines from those top 10 songs (America's top songs, that is. IDK WTF is happening in the Swedish songs) smushed together into the ultimate love letter I hope to receive some day. Or, if I was a straight man, I'd send this little ditty to my main squeeze. Actually this just became the top 11 because number 11 is a Kanye West song, so fingers crossed it has some lyrics as good as his tweets! The following is literally the key to my heart. It can also be read as a sad, sad, sad commentary on our culture's language of courting women. Either way, either way is fine.

My Dearest Lamborghini Mercy,

Hey girl let me talk to you. I'm at a payphone trying to call home, say hello to falsetto in three two SWAG! I'm Rick James, hoe. Give me a second I need to get my story straight: Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad. I don't even need your love, and all those fairy tales are full of shit. . I can take you to places you ain't never been before; I'll be you Buzz Lightyear fly across the globe. If I took you home it would be a home run: chillin' by the fire while we eatin' fondue! Let's set the world on fiiiiii-eeee-yaaaah!! Girlfriend, girlfriend, you could be my girlfriend, so here's my number, call me maybe!
You're insecure, and I'm glad you came. If I was your boyfriend, I'd never let you go. Baby you light up my world like nobody else, we can burn brighter than the sun. The sun goes down, the stars come out, and everyone else in the room can see it: I would really like to blow swag, swag, swag on you. I'm running with the wolves and I'm on the prowl. We can burn brighter than the sun and my universe will never be the same, I'm glad you came. Your chick, she's so thirsty. Now I'll take you by the hand, hand you another drink, drink it if you can. I can be a gentleman, anything you want. Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck, cuz white girl politickin' that's that Sarah Palin! My universe will never be the same. It's a force field. If I was your boyfriend I'd never let you go so call me maybe, Lamborghini Mercy.

Hugs and Kisses,
Buzz